Things You Don’t Say To A Writer.

Man WritingI am a terrible person.

Today, I was joking around with another writer (of scripts, at an acting class) when someone asked him to have a look at a monologue.

He looked over at me and mouthed “I can’t read!”

I said “You can’t write either!”

Boom. Tish.

Or alternatively, crickets….

Because its NOT OK to trash someone else’s writing.

Especially when it’s actually really good, and you could probably learn a thing or two from the person.

Luckily enough for me, he didn’t get all hurt and that.  He took it in good grace and made a joke of it.  Or else he threatened to kill me if I made any more comments.  I’m assuming it was the first thing.

What else don’t you say to a writer?

“Where do you get your ideas from?”

Seriously? I’m a writer.  It’s called an imagination.  You should consider using yours from time to time.

“I have a half finished novel/play/manuscript/life’s work/etc.”

That’s nice dear.

“Twenty bucks?  That’s a bit much for a book these days isn’t it?”

You are a blight on the buttock of humanity.  You do realise that it takes an author many, many hours of blood, sweat and tears to write a whole book?  Then they have to edit it?  Then they have to get people to critique it?  Then they have to rewrite or at least polish it?  Then they have to find someone to publish it, or do it themselves?  Then they have to find someone to market it, or do it themselves?  Your twenty bucks covers half an hour out of all the time they have taken to do all those things, to bring some entertainment to your dull, unimaginative life.  Don’t be a tightarse.

Writers pour everything into their stories.  Show them a little love, OK? Do it now.

Image courtesy of tiramisustudio at


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